On being a new grad...

May 28, 2008 I embarked on 2 1/2 year journey. It was a journey that would show me things about myself that I never knew. It showed me how much I could take, and what kind of person I will ultmately be.  Even with all of the obstacles, I came out on top and now am a part of something bigger than myself. Finally, I have achieved a status in society where I can really do some good for the community in which I live.

I don't want to down being an EDT. It has been by far the best job I have ever had. I enjoy the atmosphere in which I work, the people and the learning opportunities that have presented themselves over the past 2 years. I will really miss being at Chippenham for however long I am gone.  I'll be back eventually, if Kelly will have me, but until then I hope to be able to become solid in my skills as an ER nurse. 

Here it is December 2010, I just made it through one of the toughest tests of my inner strength that I have been through.  I can not take all the credit for my success because I had a huge system of support that helped me through it.  We didn't plan on the struggle it would be to have David join us before my final semester of Nursing school and most people would not have held it against me to take the semester off. Especially only being 3 weeks post op from major abdominal surgery, still in pain , and praying the dr would medically clear me to be able to participate in class and clinical.  The stars aligned for me as best they could for this situation. I thank God, my family and my friends for that. You are the best!

Now I finally feel like I have achieved something meaningful. Not that I haven't been successful at other things in the past. But this was real for me. This was my rite of passage. I feel like I am no longer a child. I have become a full fledge adult who is responsible for my family and myself and everything we do.  I can support them and we can live a life within our means comfortably. It is the most satisfactory feeling I have ever felt. Also while providing for my family, I can give back to the community from which I came.  I am a native of Chesterfield County, VA specifically Midlothian Village. It is a town just outside of Richmond,VA.  I will be working as an Emergency Room Nurse taking care of the sick and hurt in my community.  It is a responsibility that I am proud to take on, and one I take seriously.  Now I can contribute to the community that formed me, and for that I am truly proud and honored ":)

This point in time no one can take this away from me but myself.  I refuse to be treated like crap by anyone any longer, and you know who you are. I am a mother, I am a wife, I am a daughter, niece, friend, collegue, and I respect those who earn it and even those who may not deserve it.  I love my son, and will spend the rest of my life trying to do right by him, and my husband. Will I love you and thank you for the beautiful gift you gave to me late one august night. With out you I would have nothing, and after 6 years of being together and over four years of marriage...I wouldn't trade a day for any other life no matter how glamorous it could or would be.

special thanks to: Becka Morley (mom), William Miller, David Miller, Bob Miller, Cindy Miller, J'nell Carr, Tim Morley, Martha, Charles and Lisa Sumpter, Erin Carl, Kathleen Yancey, Stephanie Jaeger, Theresa Baber, Annette Pruett, Jonathan Pruett, Kelly Wood, my ER family, Karen Shipman (for taking a chance on a little technician fresh outta school),Nikki Aronson, my Jtcc family, Steve and Becky Carlisle, Michael and Rachel Sumpter, the Martin Motley Crew....and those of you who I may have looked over in my haste to wrap this up...you are all so special to me and I thank you for your support, your shoulders to cry on and for just believing in me. I am the luckiest girl in the world to have you in my life.


<3 always
D. Melissa Miller, RN-A

On being a mommy!

This is the begining of a series of blogs I am posting as my yearly wrap up...so stay tuned!

First of all if you get offended by anything I have to say…and some very well may. You are welcome to discuss whatever it is you wish in a respectable manner and I will gladly talk with you about it…but as my new years resolution I am gonna start standing up for my beliefs and feelings and for that of those I love…and to also not let people rob me of my happiness and confidence. 

2010 has been a crazy year for me. A crazy one but a good one…

My son was born on August 1, 2010 and he is a ray of sunshine in my life. He is everything Ive ever wanted and more. His smile lights up a room and everyone in it…he is truly amazing.

That being said I have a few tips about parenting…

Are you ready for this….Parenting is NOT a competition! Man it drives me up the wall when people act all high and mighty about parenting, seriously.  As long as you are not abusing your child, I do not now, nor will I ever care how you choose to raise your child. Ill offer advice and request it be taken with a grain of salt...but I don’t care how or where they sleep, you make your bed and you lie in it. Formula, breast fed, held, not held, tummy sleeping, back sleeping goodness gracious!  No one way is the best and I am a firm believer in this fact.  Think of yourself…you are an individual and have different needs from many other people in this world.  I feel that babies are just as unique as each one of us and no one style works for everyone. That is why I abhor parenting books because they charge you money to make you think that only one style of parenting is acceptable and if it doesn’t work u fail…you’re a bad neglectful parent because you just can’t get timmy to sleep on his back! He WILL DIE.

 Seriously? Well I am here to tell you I tried to force David on to his back for the first 8 weeks of his life and he slept AWFUL! I gave up and flipped him over and PRESTO no more bedtime battle!  He’s is not dead. It is a miracle!  Raise your hand if you have read case studies on sids or if you just listened to hype?  Yes, ever since the back to sleep campaign started we have reduced sids by 50% which is great! we have gone from 1 child in 1000 to .5 children in 1000.  I would like to point out that it isn’t solely keeping children on their backs at night that is contributing to the success of the program. Contributing factors include parental smoking cessation, reduction in cosleeping, and not placing children face down on things such as blankets that can smother them, etcI will not judge you for putting your kid on their back to sleep, so don’t judge me for putting mine on his tummy.  Sids or not the baby needs his sleep and that benefit outweighs his risk.

 Oh and the pacifiers….I have some news for some of you anti paci people, or paci- haters if you will. IF you don’t want to use a pacifier that is absolutely fine by me! So when I choose to use one, could you please just butt out.  David is 4 months old and I am his mom and he MAY use a pacifier until I decide it is time for him to hang it up. I really do not care how long it has been since your kid used one. Some kids do, some kids don’t and when the time comes Ill take care of it.  I have worked with weaning kids off pacifiers for many years before I became a parent. Not a huge deal!  There is nothing wrong with a child under 1-2 yearS of age using a pacifier if a parent deems it appropriate. Oh and by the way…I use a pacifier because I can clean and sterilize it, he normally doesn’t use the paci unless he is tired and Never would I use my nasty dirty finger as a paci and call it better! If you want to use that method, go for it! I just would like to point out that your finger is still a pacifier.

Breast feeding, personally I love it.  But some people just can not produce or do it and i think that is ok too really.  Here is my take on the whole breast feeding/formula feeding craziness.  Formula is in no way shape or form bad for a baby unless it causes them distress or allergic reaction.  Breast milk is better for sure but david does get formula sometimes...especially when mommy forgets to refrigerate whatt she pumps sometimes.  Babies have thrived on it for decades.  In fact, Erin, one of my close friends is a formula feeder and wyatt is doing just fine.  David on the other hand is breast fed and well that works great for him. I have the means to provide him with ample breast milk and feel i should do so until he reaches his 1st birthday. I don't feel that he is robbing me of my body. I do feel it is intimate and a great means of bonding for us. (my opinion is if they are old enough to ask for it (the breast), it may be time to close up shop.)  we will see how it goes once he has teeth, but he will get it from the tap or by bottle as long as I can pump or until he is around 1 year of age. Which ever comes first!  I don't like breast feeding in public.  If you want to do that go on ahead.  Sometimes i can stomach doing it while being covered, but it is awkward for me.  It is one thing when I am in a room full of women, but I don't believe any man other than my husband, son(while feeding) or Dr. should see my breast. End of story, and I don't care how many breasts you have seen.  I am a modest person when it comes to exposing my body. I don't wear midriffs, i don't wear bikinis anymore (even if I were skinny) I don't wear short shorts and well i can't really control the cleavage...sry. My body is for my husband only, even if i was ripped.  That is just me.

Also, just being a clam parent make a calm child...keep that in mind! Well it works for me at least!
 

I choose to raise David in a more traditional sense. I rely on instinct, intuition, God and advice from women I respect who have been through this process. Women whom I feel are strong and firm in how they rear their children.  Women like my mom, my mil Cindy, my grandma, Aunts, some of my friends who are new moms, and well respected mothers that I attend church with.  I choose not to use a book and I still have the happiest baby on the block…hands down.  In my honest opinion, we all have different views on different things as well as children that respond to different types of rearing. It is in no way your right, or my right to put a parent down for raising their child in the way they deem fit.  We are all in this together and should support one another in this journey called life.  As long as that child is happy, or just content and healthy, keep on keepin on, my friend.   

PS always take advice with a grain of salt. 

I hope this let some insight into how I think about these kinds of things...just the rantings of a MOTC...(mom on the clock!)

There is more to come in my end of year series so stay tuned.